The Threshold of Your 20’s

Reflections from a small but profound birthday.

The youth of childhood feels oddly further away than ever, at 24. I don’t know why, but 24 sounds like a rather ‘adult’ age. It’s like this small (but kind of significant) threshold was crossed, and I now find myself in my mid 20’s.

Before you think “Well, wait till you’re your ___,” I just want to outline that I love aging. It’s a part of our human existence, and inevitable, and means you’ve lived. It means you are alive. It’s daunting, scary, and full of uncontrollable change, but I’d rather live a long and full life than not. It’s a privilege to age, even more so when you truly enjoy your time earthside.

Reaching another birthday always has me reflecting on the year that was. What I learned, experienced, gained and lost. My blessings, and my trials.

Lazing in the sun, surrounded by the symphonies of birdsong, a gentle mountain breeze and my garden aromas, I paused to realise that I feel more like the person, the woman, I always wanted to be. And, that this past loop around the sun has grown me like no other. 

I married my best friend and the love of my life, embarking on our first wondrous year of marriage together. Jordan knows me like no one else, and I’m endlessly grateful to walk this life with him. I lost friends but gained invaluable lessons on my worth, value, and strength (even if they didn’t see it). Through this, I solidified the type of relationships that I deserve, and have witnessed my other beautiful friendships blossom. I stopped working and teaching yoga–a much-needed sabbatical–to allow the space for me to redefine what success, my ‘career’, and my purpose mean.

I’m finding my 20’s to be a period of condensed change. When I really zoomed out from just this one year, I realised similar experiences scatter my entire early adulthood. Since turning 18, I’ve moved 6 times, travelled the world alone, bought my first property (with a lot of help, because *millennial*), fallen in and out of love, and changed my opinions.

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The way I see it, this time is a conglomeration of trials and errors, making mistakes, formulating your beliefs and opinions, and giving yourself the grace to change your mind. We get to test the waters in navigating the world, asserting and expressing ourselves, and using our voices. These inaugural years of adulthood (and womanhood) are vibrant, contracting, and full of movement regardless of the lifestyle you choose to live. 

People might not take you seriously. Some underestimate you. But I believe there’s always something to learn and value in a person irrespective of age. I’ve got a lot to say, and experience behind me (even if it’s not 50 years). I see this time as a period to build and create, both the life I want to live and the person I’m becoming. 

But broadening this view, I’d hope that elements of this time are found in all eras of life. I’d hate to feel ‘too old’ to change or try something new, or be too set in my ways to see other’s point of view. I’d really hate to minimise myself and be small.

The difference from, say, 40-year-old and 20-year-old Abigail is that I’d have a bank of memories to uphold and safeguard me, and an even stronger sense of self with which to follow.

I’ve always had a rather vehement sense of self. I knew what I wanted and valued in life, I just didn’t have the forethought to deduce whether it was enduring, selfish or constructed from desire. Science calls it an under-developed prefrontal cortex, I call it the blissful egocentrism of adolescence. Because when we’re children, we’re not meant to bear the weight of immense responsibilities.

I think that our 20’s are asking us to put our sense of self into practice. It’s a period of time for us to embody, well, US. A time to test and push our limits and explore the world to see what lands. People may underestimate you or assume you don’t know any better, and I say let ‘em. It’s nice to prove them wrong, and it’s also nice to prove them right. Because no one (no matter their age, position or life) knows all.

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I’ve spent a reasonable chunk of my 20’s trying to prove myself, to the naysaying ‘older and wiser,’ and to me. But really, why bother? There are things to create, love to feel, and far too many exciting things to do and experience. People who see your true value and worth don’t tether it to something extrinsic of you. They see the intrinsic, the uniquely you, and support your decisions even if they disagree. Because at the end of the day, with your own life, you know best. 

There’s always something to be gained, witnessed, or felt. Even if it’s from the unassuming or unexpected.

Stepping off my soapbox with love,

Abigail x